How to Know When He's Playing Games With You

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If y'all're really feeling a guy and aren't sure if he's on the same page, information technology can cause you a lot of stress and self-uncertainty. If y'all're non sure if the guy is playing with yous, then you lot need to retrieve near the things he does and says when y'all're together. Though there's no foolproof way to know if he's playing with y'all unless you ask him or catch him in the act, in that location are many signs that he's non being genuine with yous, and it's important to know if you lot should scout out as soon as possible.

1. 1

   Encounter if he'll but hang out with you in certain parts of boondocks. One mode to know if he's playing with you is to run into if he'southward comfortable hanging out with you anywhere or if he gets nervous or reluctant if you want to hang out in a new part of town or become on a new adventure. If he acts this way, it may be because he's been hanging out with other girls in other parts of town and doesn't desire to have any awkward run-ins. If you want to know if he's playing you lot, yous should casually mention that yous desire to go to to a unlike eating house, unlike movie house, or some other public park in town to see if it makes a difference to him.

   • If he'due south actually playing you, then he probably has his balancing act down to an fine art. If you try to change his usual schedule, and then you may be able to call his bluff.
   • Inquire yourself if he'south always the one who decides where you should go. Of grade, he may just desire to have charge for other reasons, but this could be a giveaway that he wants to steer y'all away from places where you're probable to run in to some of his other ladies.

2. 2

   See if he's reluctant to meet your friends or to have you lot meet his. ^[1] If your guy never wants to meet your friends, it may exist because he doesn't want to brand the relationship a serious commitment. If he doesn't want you lot to meet his friends, it may exist for the same reason, with the additional worry that his friends may say something nigh the other girls he's seeing. Whether he'southward seeing someone else or not, if you lot've been together for a while and he'southward shown no involvement in wanting to meet your friends or take yous meet his, then it's a red flag.^[2]

   • If he doesn't desire to become a bigger office of your life, then it'due south because he doesn't want things to get too serious.
   • That said, if you lot try to rush him into coming together your friends, or even your family, afterward just a few weeks of dating, then you may be moving likewise fast. He may have legitimate reasons for taking things tiresome, like wanting to brand sure he knows where things stand, or giving his friends some time to become used to the idea of him having a new girlfriend because he recently got out of a serious relationship.

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3. iii

   Come across if he acts weird if he runs into you in public. If things are great when you and your guy are alone and he all of a sudden gives y'all the cold shoulder when you lot run into him at the mall or outside a eating house, then something is definitely up. Either he'southward acting weird because he's seeing another girl and doesn't want to exist seen with y'all, or considering he doesn't want his friends or anyone else to think he's dating yous. Either way, this should be a crusade for concern.

   • If he actually cares for you lot, then he should exist excited to see you and should even show you lot some affection. Of class, he doesn't take to be as appreciating in public every bit he would be in private, just he should human activity like he really wants to see you. ^[iii]
   • Cheque out his body language. Does he brand eye contact and motion toward y'all? If so, so that's a good sign. But if he stands away from you, crosses his arms over his breast, and keeps looking around instead of looking at y'all, and then this means that he's trying to keep his distance.

4. 4

   See if he's reluctant to be affectionate with you in public. If y'all two get out on a appointment but he acts like you're brother and sister, and then y'all should exist request yourself why. If he's playing you, then he doesn't want the world to know that he'southward seeing you, either because he'southward also seeing someone else or he just wants to keep his options open up. Though not all guys are into belongings hands, for example, he should want to requite you some sort of affection if he really cares for you lot.

   • You don't want to put the force per unit area on him to be affectionate in public too early, but if you've gone on several dates and he still stands a foot away from you any time yous're out together, then this may exist a cause for concern.

5. 5

   See if he'southward sweet to you ane minute and distant the adjacent. If he's all loving, sweet, kind, and wanting to osculation you one minute and then the adjacent, he acts like he barely knows who you lot are, then this may be because he's playing with yous. Maybe he's in the mood to hang out with you on sure days, while he thinks he has improve things to do on others. Whether this means he'd rather hang with another girl or spend time with his buddies, if he's always hot and cold, then he'southward definitely playing with you.^[4]

   • Think about it: does he often exit y'all feeling confused about what he actually feels about you or where yous stand with him? If so, then this may be considering he's playing with your emotions.^[5]

6. 6

   See if he would never surrender a dark with his friends for you. If the guy is playing with you, and then he'll never think that yous come offset with him. He would always spend a night out with his buddies, but when information technology comes to you, he'll only hang out with you lot on sure times, when you suspect that his friends might be busy or that he has nothing else on his social calendar. If he really likes y'all, and so he'll think of you as a priority, not as social sloppy seconds. If you lot want to know if he'southward playing with you, encounter if he'll ever give up a night with his friends for a nice evening with you.

   • If the guy is serious about you, then he should exist excited nearly hanging out with y'all instead of his friends, at to the lowest degree some of the time. Though yous don't want him to surrender his other friends or his social life for you completely, if he makes no compromises for you at all, then it may be because he's playing with you.

7. 7

   See if he's shady with his phone. 1 dead giveaway that a guy is playing with you is that he'south very secretive when it comes to his phone. If he's ever checking his phone so texting abroad from your direction, stepping out to have calls a lot without telling you who called, or goes hours without picking upwards his phone with no explanation, and then information technology may be because he'south playing you lot. Of course, some guys are protective well-nigh their privacy and that's perfectly normal, but if he's ever on his phone and you never know what he's doing, then it may be a scarlet flag that he's playing you.

   • Think nearly it: does he ever go out his telephone out, even for a second, or is it always stuck in his pocket? Though you lot don't want to snoop through information technology, if yous can tell that he'south freaked out even virtually the idea of you lot seeing who is calling or texting him, and so you lot may have a problem.
   • Another thing you can look out for is if he turns off his phone completely when he's hanging out with you lot. Though this may be a sweet gesture to give you his full attention, it may also be his way of warding off other girls who might be calling him when you're together.

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1. 1

   Come across if he's always saying he's too busy for you only he seems to have plenty of time for everyone else. If y'all've heard him tell you how decorated he is again and once more, saying that he doesn't take 10 free minutes for anyone, and so you heard that he spent his night out with a bunch of friends, then this may be a sign that he'south playing with yous. The truth of the matter is that if a guy actually wants to hang out with you, that he'll detect the time to do it. Though there are exceptions if he really does get super decorated, if yous detect out that he's spending that fourth dimension with other people, then it should be a cause for business.^[6]

   • If he says he's busy studying or doing piece of work and then you discover out that he's been doing something else, even if he's merely hanging out with his brother, then he'southward playing you. If he cared for y'all, then he'd be honest about what he was doing instead of lying.

2. two

   Come across if he's reluctant to commit to anything more than than two weeks in the future. If your guy tries to change the subject whatsoever time you try to talk about the future, even if you're simply talking most your holiday plans, which are a calendar month abroad, so this may exist a sign that he's playing you. If he'south serious well-nigh you, so he'll want to see you as a part of his future and he won't dorsum off when you bring it upwards.^[seven]

   • Of course, if you've been dating for three weeks and start talking about your nuptials, it'due south natural that he'll freak out, only if you simply bring up what you'll both exist doing a month from now, then he'll have no reason to worry if he cares for you.
   • Listen to how he talks most you lot and the human relationship. If he never, always brings up the future or includes you in his futurity plans, then he may exist playing yous.

3. 3

   Come across if he hasn't told any of his friends well-nigh y'all. If y'all finally run across his friends or see his friends and they say something like, "I didn't know he had a girlfriend…" or just look surprised by your presence, then this is because the guy didn't think your relationship was serious enough for him to bring information technology up to his friends. If he cares most you and you've been seeing each other a while, then he should exist excited about the human relationship and should desire his friends to know who you are. ^[8]

   • If he's sweet to you when information technology'south but the ii of you lot, but is more buddy buddy or fifty-fifty distant effectually his friends, and then he may just like to flirt with you without wanting anything serious.
   • Of form, some guys like to act tough in front end of their friends, and he may non shower y'all with kisses when y'all meet them. But if he's never even told them about y'all, then he may simply be playing you.

4. 4

   See if he'south reluctant to call you his girlfriend. If you consider him your boyfriend and have been seeing only him for months while you've never heard the give-and-take "girlfriend" come out of his mouth, then this may be because he doesn't think the relationship is as serious as you retrieve it is. If he introduces you to people as his friend or even seems like he's not feeling information technology when yous call him your swain, so it may be because he'southward playing you.^[nine]

   • Sometimes, words do speak louder than actions, and if he refuses to call you his girlfriend though you've been dating for a while, then there must be a reason behind it.
   • He may be afraid of commitment without playing you. If this is the instance, yous still demand to accept a talk almost information technology.

5. 5

   Meet how he talks to other girls. If you desire to know if he'southward playing you, then y'all should see how he talks to the other girls he knows. Sure, he may be polite and not interested when he talks to other girls if you lot're continuing right side by side to him, but if yous run into him talking to a girl out of the corner of your heart from the other side of the room and he's beingness incredibly flirtatious, then this may exist because he's playing you.

   • If he actually likes you, and then he'll find no need to talk to other girls in a flirtatious style. Sure, he can however talk to them and he doesn't have to ignore every daughter simply you, just if you can tell from the way he talks to other girls that he wants more than from them than just friendship, then he may be playing y'all.
   • Though you don't want to spy on him or get too obsessive, if i of your friends is at a political party where he's talking to other girls, ask your friend what information technology was like. Though your friend shouldn't be also obvious nigh watching him, you may go a better read on the situation this style than you would if you were in the room yourself.

6. 6

   See if he's always total of excuses. A classic sign of a player is a man who is always full of excuses. He may be and so smooth so convincing that you lot don't even notice that he's completely lying to you. He may tell you lot about his grandmother getting ill, his domestic dog needing to go to the vet, or almost how he forgot your engagement because he "overslept" or had to condolement a friend. Sure, things happen, merely if you observe that he has a perfect excuse for every little reason why he's disappointed you, and then he may be playing yous.

   • If yous've heard the excuse "my phone died" more than twice, so chances are, this is not the real reason he didn't call you back.
   • If he seems actress sweet and atoning when he gives yous these excuses, and so it may be considering he's covering up the fact that he's lying.

7. 7

   See if he starts interim nervous when you ask him about his dark. Another fashion to see if he's playing you is to just inquire him how his night went if he told yous he was staying in or hanging out with his friends. While y'all don't need to ask about every niggling detail of the night, if you lot casually just inquire a few questions about what happened, whether you inquire what movie he watched when he was staying in alone or which bar he went to if he was supposedly out with his friends, you should check out his body linguistic communication and words to see if he gets nervous, starts stuttering, or just acts uncomfortable.

   • Though you lot don't want to interrogate him, if you merely ask a few questions without making a big deal about it, you may even be able to take hold of him in a prevarication.
   • Ask him while you lot're doing something else, similar scrolling through your telephone, so he doesn't come across that y'all're really trying to figure him out.

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1. 1

   Ask him. If yous want to know if a guy is playing you, the easiest way can exist to ask him. Though yous may not desire to know if he's adulterous on y'all, you can just inquire him where y'all stand with him. If he'due south non feeling information technology equally much as you are, then you're better off knowing sooner rather than later on. Simply discover some time to be lone and ask him what his thoughts are about you and your future together. ^[10]

   • Though this may not exist easy, this is far better than wondering for months. You'll have a definitive reply, once and for all. And if he's obviously lying, then you'll exist able to see that, also.
   • If you're really feeling bold, y'all tin only apartment-out ask him if he'southward cheating. Point to some shady behavior that has led you to feel this way.

2. two

   Enquire your friends what they recall. Though it'south best to merely ask him yourself, you can also get some dandy feedback from your friends, also. They've been watching the situation unfold and may have a sense of what the relationship is similar from the outside. They may even have a better sense of whether or not he's playing yous because they might take seen him with girls without you and may take a different impression.

   • Tell your friends to exist honest with you. They shouldn't lie to you just to spare your feelings.
   • They can investigate a bit if you actually desire them to. If it won't look as well obvious, you can accept one of your friends casually testify up in a place where your guy is likely to be and to keep an centre on him to see how he is with other girls. Of course, if he thinks you've sent a spy in his management, he'll be on his all-time behavior.

3. iii

   Consider post-obit him. Okay, so if y'all really don't intendance nearly being establish out or breaking his trust, then one thing you can do is to follow your guy subsequently you've been hanging out, or simply when you lot know he'll be at a certain place, to see what he's been up to. Whether y'all're driving at a far distance away, walking, or taking the passenger vehicle, endeavor to be far plenty away that he doesn't see you and to have a set up-fabricated story in case he does take hold of you in the human action. This can lead you to run across if he's seeing any other girls—or if he's just going dwelling to hang out with his cat.

   • Just know that this is pretty risky behavior that tin can pb you to get caught. If you're caught and he hasn't been doing anything wrong, this can exist a relationship ender for you, so make sure you really recollect following him is a good idea before y'all brainstorm.

4. iv

   Show upwards at his place when he doesn't expect information technology. Another way to find out if he'southward playing you is to prove up at his place unannounced. You lot tin can pop in an hour earlier than y'all said you'd be at that place to see if at that place's a unlike woman at that place or if he's suspiciously cleaning everything upwards. You can as well just drib past because you're "in the surface area" at a fourth dimension when he'due south supposed to exist studying or home working to bring him some coffee or a treat. When you prove up, meet if he'southward happy to see you or if he seems nervous, like he'due south hiding something—or someone.

   • Of class, if it's totally cool that you lot would prove up at his firm out of the blue, and so he'll be on to you. Just if you've come over at that place before and it hasn't been a big deal, just try to get in seem natural.

5. 5

   Snoop through his things—if you're okay with breaking his trust. Though snooping through your guy'southward things won't win you any trust points, if you're drastic and feel pretty sure that you want to cheat on him, then y'all can attempt looking through his phone or his e-mail, or even looking through his room for suspicious items similar female person clothing that is obviously not yours. Snooping is a last resort and y'all should simply do it if you feel like you really need answers and nothing else is working.

   • The problem with snooping is that, fifty-fifty if you've found show, you'll have to admit that yous've been going through the guy'south things if you want to phone call him out. This will make him angry at you, and will have the focus off the real situation.
   • If you lot're looking through his phone, have an excuse fix in instance he catches yous. Yous can say that your phone died and that y'all were looking up the restaurant where y'all two were having dinner or that you needed to apace check your email or something. Though this may not be besides convincing, it may be better than nothing.

6. half-dozen

   Attempt to catch him in a prevarication. You can also try to take hold of the guy in a lie to notice out if he's playing yous. If he'due south mentioned that he hung out with his friends or blood brother the other dark, when you lot see them, you can enquire about how the boy'south night out went; if they look confused, then y'all may know that he lied. If he tells a story virtually how he had to stay home because his sister was having drama, you lot can ask him how she's feeling a few days later on; if he acts like he has no idea what you lot're talking about, then it may be because he already forgot his own lie.

   • You can even endeavour asking him simple questions like which movie he saw if he went to the movies with his friends. If he looks embarrassed or clearly doesn't know the answer, so you'll know that he'southward playing you.

7. 7

   Even if there's no proof, trust your gut. If yous simply get the feeling that the guy isn't sincere even though you tin't find any proof of information technology through snooping, so it may be time to end the human relationship. Perhaps he'south not seeing other girls, but he notwithstanding can be playing with you but because he's not feeling it every bit much equally you are. As long as you know you lot're not the one with jealousy issues and see that you take a real reason to exist concerned, if yous really think he might be playing you, then it's fourth dimension to cutting him loose.

   • When y'all're with a guy who really cares for you lot and who is there for only y'all, you'll know. You lot won't spend hours calling him and wondering where he is and you won't have to stoop as low every bit snooping through his things or following him considering you'll accept no reason to do it. Yous'll know that he'due south in that location for you 100% and that volition be an astonishing feeling.

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Add New Question

• Question

  How tin can you tell if a male child really likes you?

  

  Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a engagement coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-one Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her piece of work has been featured on Inside Edition, Play tricks, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

  

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  Back up wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

  You know someone likes you lot by how they care for y'all, how they look at you, and how they talk about you and treat yous around other people. People show affection in different ways, whether it exist through hugs or doing things for you, but if someone likes you, they will exist at that place for yous and focused on you.

• Question

  What do I practice if I know my boyfriend is cheating on me, merely the other girl he is dating is my best friend, and she is madly in dearest with him?

  

  Dump them both. Conspicuously he's not loyal and neither is she, what kind of friend falls in dear with their best friend's beau? And what kind of friend acts on information technology? You tin't trust either of these people.

• Question

  I accept recently started talking to someone and I am unsure of where we stand. He is not very trusting and he tells me I need to earn my place as his girl. Should I keep?

  

  If he is telling y'all that you lot have to EARN the spot of beingness his girl then yous should probably motion on. If he truly cared about you he would have you as you are and non wait any more from you. It would probably exist in your best interest to look around for another guys and appointment them, maybe he'll see what he's missing or you'll find someone improve that is more worthy of you.

• Question

  My boyfriend inappreciably calls me and he e'er tells me he's decorated; he tin get for days without calling me, should I quit or keep?

  

  This is an easy one. Tell him that you want a man that can spend fourth dimension with you, and since he's also busy, then yous are going to expect for someone who tin. Stick to your guns and motion on.

• Question

  I bankrupt up with my boyfriend because he wasn't treating me kindly. Should I have broken up with him?

  

  Of course. In that location's no good reason to stay in a human relationship with someone who doesn't care for y'all well, especially if information technology'due south consistent.

• Question

  Nosotros've been dating for iii months, I am always the one who pays for dinner and makes an endeavour. He is secretive on his telephone. Is he playing me?

  

  It sounds like information technology. Unless he is doing some very nice and thoughtful things for y'all that you lot've not mentioned, it sounds like he is taking advantage of yous and/or seeing someone else.

• Question

  What if he just wants to meet me in my business firm?

  

  Then he is probably but looking for a quick fling or sex with you, although it is hard to know for sure. He may merely be stringing you lot forth, and then be careful.

• Question

  How do I know if he really truly likes me if he'due south played me earlier, i.e., we've had an on-and-off relationship?

  

  Yous can't know for certain, but if he has told you or shown you that he has inverse, that is a adept indicator. If he has apologized for past behavior and/or told you he wants to go serious, that's great, but withal be cautious. If he'due south washed/said naught, you accept no reason to believe he really cares for you at all.

• Question

  What if the guy you are texting becomes all sweet at first, and then disappears for days on end, and then he shows up once again with a text?

  

  If he has no reason, it's well-nigh likely y'all're non a priority. Move on. A guy who likes yous will exist responsible near his actions.

• Question

  Is someone playing me if he didn't answer to my text for almost a week and so replied with an apology that he was with a friend?

  

  He might be playing with yous, because if he really loved you he would reply faster. He apologized, because he was probably having no other girls to text with.

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• If you lot tin't let get, call back of all the things he did to injure you and make you feel bad.

• Call back, if he is playing with you, allow get. If you don't let go, he'll become a cannon and smash your centre to a billion pieces. That memory will kill you lot, haunt yous for the rest of your life, and give you nightmare.

• Call back in that location are plenty of guys in the bounding main, and there are better guys than him.

• It may be hard to let get, but when you accept to Permit GO. Seriously. Allow go.

• Movement on because if he did information technology once he will practice it one time again.

• If he's dating a girl and shoving it in your face, do the same. Or check out articles on how to make a fake sweetie.

• Ask your all-time friends or closest friends (whatever) what they think he is doing to you. This Really HELPS.

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• Don't enquire his friends about him.

• Tell your best friends only.

• Don't talk to other people about him at all.

• Never tell him you like him.

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Article Summary X

To observe out if your man'due south playing with you, pay attention to how he is with you in public. If he's reluctant to agree hands or exist appreciating with you, it may be considering he doesn't desire people to know you're together. Notice how he introduces you to people, since calling you his friend or non introducing you at all may exist a sign that he's playing you. You should as well lookout man out for your man hiding his phone screen while he's texting or leaving the room to make private phone calls, which are common red flags. For more tips, including how to catch your man in the human action, read on!

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